I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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