i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
