nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
