you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
