just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
