I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
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States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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