Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God

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  (313): My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God http://tfl.nu/eo8x
  Replies (5) Good night (1014) Bad night (1336)
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  (315): View more from New York

  my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple

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  (315): my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple http://tfl.nu/6ez5
  Replies (8) Good night (815) Bad night (1739)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.

  (1-828): View more from North Carolina

  Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.

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  (828): Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy. (1-828): Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid. http://tfl.nu/eif0
  Replies (8) Good night (671) Bad night (3575)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape

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  (980): after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape http://tfl.nu/d3c4
  Replies (8) Good night (3662) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.

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  (812): These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now. http://tfl.nu/s4lf
  Replies (7) Good night (1038) Bad night (2722)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.

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  (850): It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order. http://tfl.nu/7w8i
  Replies (4) Good night (2119) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...

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  (619): Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by... http://tfl.nu/g8gw
  Replies (9) Good night (3767) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there

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  (812): Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there http://tfl.nu/jzmv
  Replies (3) Good night (1168) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you

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  (423): You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you http://tfl.nu/8tmy
  Replies (3) Good night (904) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.

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  (214): You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate. http://tfl.nu/ezsl
  Replies (4) Good night (1287) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast

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  (+27): Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast http://tfl.nu/wh5g
  Replies (2) Good night (1430) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.

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  (832): We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad. http://tfl.nu/9s88
  Replies (3) Good night (1070) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.

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  (412): So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T. http://tfl.nu/y888
  Replies (4) Good night (1469) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.

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  (601): Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams. http://tfl.nu/r18a
  Replies (8) Good night (293) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.

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  (512): How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries. http://tfl.nu/pkrn
  Replies (4) Good night (592) Bad night (253)

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