I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.