Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..

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(212): I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York.. http://tfl.nu/qpq0

Replies (13) Good night (2959) Bad night (489)
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(805): View more from California

Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.

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(805): Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response. http://tfl.nu/yy5l

Replies (9) Good night (5609) Bad night (555)
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(906): View more from Michigan

I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.

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(906): I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up. http://tfl.nu/m243

Replies (16) Good night (3911) Bad night (801)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.

(1-513): View more from Ohio

Not having phil's child is good enough.

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(513): Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize. (1-513): Not having phil's child is good enough. http://tfl.nu/zrt3

Replies (19) Good night (6348) Bad night (907)
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(760): View more from California

I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.

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(760): I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned. http://tfl.nu/ynjo

Replies (7) Good night (937) Bad night (3337)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.

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(724): Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks. http://tfl.nu/a8rg

Replies (19) Good night (3741) Bad night (1266)
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(641): View more from Iowa

My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.

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(641): My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning. http://tfl.nu/bmvl

Replies (8) Good night (2215) Bad night (908)
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(407): View more from Florida

Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.

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(407): Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary. http://tfl.nu/ntpi

Replies (4) Good night (1773) Bad night (498)
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(360): View more from Washington

So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with

(509): View more from Washington

Isn't life beautiful?

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(360): So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with (509): Isn't life beautiful? http://tfl.nu/f406

Replies (13) Good night (2020) Bad night (983)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.

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(503): Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer. http://tfl.nu/ruer

Replies (5) Good night (1319) Bad night (537)
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(509): View more from Washington

HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS

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(509): HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS http://tfl.nu/4o5n

Replies (5) Good night (1652) Bad night (436)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?

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(773): Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school? http://tfl.nu/w1lv

Replies (14) Good night (412) Bad night (1308)
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(845): View more from New York

You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital

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(845): You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital http://tfl.nu/w35x

Replies (7) Good night (715) Bad night (408)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?

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(318): At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving? http://tfl.nu/qz6b

Replies (7) Good night (2270) Bad night (489)
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(407): View more from Florida

We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me

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(407): We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me http://tfl.nu/k2wx

Replies (3) Good night (229) Bad night (393)

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