we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
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I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
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I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend