I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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