Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Im just a social blackout drinker.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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