Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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