so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
