i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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