It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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