I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
