You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
