I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
