girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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