Yo dont text me then not text me
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
