i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she woke up with a sticky ear
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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