Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We need to rekindle our bromance
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
