I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize