Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
