She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
