I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I wish I could punch you in the face.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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