can u get pink eye on your cock?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
