I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
