Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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