You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
