Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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