What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
