he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
