uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
