This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
