I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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