You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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