I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
