We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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