So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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