my soul wont recognize me after tonight
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Drunk is not a location!
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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