Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
