Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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