I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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