And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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