i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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