I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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