Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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