before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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