So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
