My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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