Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
