after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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