I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
