I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize