Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
