She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
