you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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