idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
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So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
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And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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