I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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