I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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