i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
im on a boat
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