if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
