are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
