We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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