omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I queefed so loud it echoed.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
In other news, I just burned my penis
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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