ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
