I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
